I’m still a scholar.
In truth, I have little use for why Hemingway wrote with specific symbols, what Gerrymandering is, or why some people see the dress as black and blue and others see white and gold.
I can talk for hours about Kant’s ideas on love, why the Oxford comma is necessary, or how to figure out when two trains leaving separate stations will eventually meet up, but there isn’t much practical use for that.
However, I can tell you just from looking at the way a baby walks whether or not they need their diaper changed. I can tell you if he’s tired, grumpy, or if he’s teething.
I can give you four different remedies for diaper rash and even more for a head ache. I know the perfect mixture to make rice cereal, and there is no stain that I can’t get out of clothing.
Every single day I deal with chemistry, biology, art, physics, history, psychology, and English. I take more classes in a single day than I did in an entire semester at college.
I readily study forums, websites and social media to enrich my learning, whether it is crafts for the next day or meals that everyone in my family will enjoy.
I’m constantly studying something that I’m interested in and I find things that bring out the fun in my day to day life.
Am I still a scholar? You bet your ass I am!
I’m still a good time.
The idea that my identity in college was based around how long I could dance, how much I could drink, or how I did my hair seems like another life to me. In truth, that life vanished the moment I found out I was pregnant. That part of me is gone and I don’t want it back.
You see, now I really know how to have a good time. I know how to laugh at children’s shows; I know all of the lyrics to Frozen and can put on a pretty awesome puppet show. Puppets that I learned to make myself, I might add.
My idea of a good time has shifted to Tuesday play dates where I can watch my son crawl through a play area while three other mommies that I met talk about the latest plot twist on our favorite shows.
As for dancing, I can replicate the “Hot Dog” dance from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and my son thinks I’m the best dancer in town. That’s all that matters – he’s the one I want to impress.
Am I still a good time? You bet your ass I am!
I’m still a friend.
If I am being completely honest, I felt that I lost my identity as a friend more than anything in the subsequent years. You see, I did lose a lot of my friends over time. I guess life has a way of doing that to people.
However, the friendship that I gained with my son, could replace millions of the friends I knew in school. It’s the best that I have ever had.
My son hears all of my secrets. He listens to and helps soothe the worries that I have and he encourages my hopes and dreams. A truer friend has never been found!
In becoming a mother I have also found so much more, a community of women that are interested in the same things I am interested in: couponing, crafting, sustainable diapering, and book swapping.
These women, mothers like me, form a cross section that brings wisdom from all over the world. They are older, younger, black, white, Asian, Latina, single moms, married moms, adopted moms, and step-moms.
Being a friend is different now. It means having in-depth conversations and relating to each other about whether we are even doing this whole parenting thing correctly. It’s about important things; things that shape peoples’ lives.
Am I still a friend? You bet your ass I am!
No, the hardest part of being a stay at home mom is not losing my identity. My identity is still intact, it just isn’t the one most people remember. And I am perfectly okay with that!