All of the moms that I know are genius multitaskers and unbelievably giving. They love their kids, their husbands, their parents, their entire families (and even their pets) a great deal and invest huge amounts of energy into making those around them happy.
We want healthy kids, happy hubbies, comfortable parents, content pets and peaceful homes. In short, we want it all.
The problem is that somewhere along the line we got confused on how it is that we create happy families and homes. We do that by starting with ourselves.
Talk to almost any mom and she will tell you that she does almost nothing for herself. She won’t come right out and say it just like that but she will say things like,
I haven’t worked out in a week because the baby has been sick
I was going to go out to lunch with my friends but I didn’t want to waste the money because my kids need new clothes for school pictures
I made a pretty awesome dinner last night but I didn’t eat any because I had to nurse the baby.
The problem behind these types of statements is that they suggest mom doesn’t matter.
Once we decide that we don’t matter, we change. We stop caring about our clothes, our hair or what we eat. We give up on exercise and forget about our personal career goals.
That can makes us feel insecure about our bodies, miserable about our job prospects and resentful about having nothing for ourselves… And then we feel guilty for having those feelings.
The issue is that we have somehow convinced ourselves that, in putting ourselves last, we are putting our families first. The real trouble with that logic is… and please stop and really digest this sentence.
A family with an unhappy mother is an unhappy family.
That’s the bottom line. That’s all that there is to it. If you are not caring for yourself, considering your own needs or buying yourself something every now and then, you will not be a happy lady.
Your husband will notice. Your kids will notice. Even the dog will notice. It will affect the entire family in a very negative way.
So, how does the mom who has forgotten that she matters begin to think of herself again? Here are a few ideas to get you started.