What can we do to end the war?
Although we are all participating, I think most moms would agree that we would like to see it end. We aren’t sure how to do it, however. What’s so interesting is that it requires almost nothing other than basic preschool social skills.
It’s pretty simple. It’s the lesson that we have been teaching our kids since they could walk and talk. Be kind. Be compassionate. Be friendly. Be helpful. I know. You’re thinking that it is too easy, but it isn’t. Let’s go over how these 4 simple rules can end the battle once and for all.
Be kind.
Being kind means being nice and being loving. It has to do with treating others well even if we are not sure that we like them or that they deserve it. Just stop assuming the worst of other moms and start giving them the benefit of the doubt. Give an encouraging smile, a wave or a knowing nod. In short, give other mamas a break.
Be compassionate.
If you see a mom making a choice that you wouldn’t make, consider that her circumstances may be different from yours. She can’t possibly have your same life and each person’s challenges, goals, priorities and relationships shape the way that they parent.
She doesn’t have the same home, husband, finances, support system or, most of all, child that you do. She likely has reasons for her behavior and her choices. Chances are almost 100 % that she loves her child every bit as much as you do.
Be friendly.
Sometimes when a kid is throwing a tantrum in the grocery store or crying in the public bathroom, all we really want or need is for a mom to smile at us and show us that she is on our side. We have all been there and we all know how awful it feels when people stare us down in disgust or walk past us hurriedly so as not to make eye contact.
The truth is, moms are united by this crazy thing called motherhood and the more that we throw each other a friendly wink or an encouraging smile, the better we will all feel.
Be helpful.
Lend a helping hand when you can. It will make you and other moms feel great. Grab her diaper bag for her when her hands are full. Volunteer to watch her kids so she can run to the restroom at the park. Entertain her child in line while she desperately tries to check out. Do the things that you wish someone else would do for you. It’s called the “Golden Rule” for a reason.
The result of these simple rules will likely be a happier daily life for you. Being nice, compassionate, friendly and helpful will make you feel fantastic. You will also likely make some other moms feel pretty awesome. We can hope that they will pay it forward… and maybe, just maybe, things will begin to change. No matter what, nothing bad can come of being an encouragement and a guiding light for other moms.
Try it out and let’s see if we can end this crazy little war.