Preteens are a tricky stage and in many ways they are like toddlers. They are gaining more individuality and striving to pronounce independence. It’s good for your preteen to gain further independence and it’s important to give them the space they need. However, it is even more important to make sure you keep a good relationship going through this transition. You are going to need that open communication when they become a teenager.
This is a big step and there will definitely be many ups and downs in this transition. So, get ready for it and brace yourself!
1. Maintain A Strong Relationship
Stay connected with your tween. Make sure you keep the conversation open. She should know that she can ask you about anything and tell you about everything. In order to do this, do fun things with her and always be open when talking with her. If you need some time to answer a question, take the time, but never shrug her off without answering. Kids can be told all things at their level of maturity and understanding.
2. Foster Their Independence
Your tween needs to be independent. Make sure there are definite rules and consequences but don’t become too overprotective. This can be very hard but the goal is to keep her safe without keeping her from doing anything!
3. Maintain Discipline
The techniques you used before may not work anymore. Keep that strong bond of love going with your tween. Respect them and they will learn to respect you. Keep the rules firm and make sure they know what will happen if they break a rule.
4. Reinforce Values
Teach your children strong values from the time they are little. Before they become teens, they should know all about values. This will make decisions easier for them when they are teenagers. If you have already discussed the consequences of teen drinking or sex, when they have that decision to make, hopefully they have already decided against it.
5. Lead By Example
Tell your kids about when you were their age; be their example. Tell them that you felt insecure and you had a hard time making friends sometimes, too. Make sure they know that you have been there, too. This is sometimes hard for them to understand but help them see. Help them know that everything going on inside them goes on inside everyone!
6. Respect Their Feelings
There are so many feelings going on at this time. Don’t let what they say get you down. I know it’s hard. But your tween might say, “I hate you!” Try not to take it personal. They really don’t hate you. They may hate what you want them to do or hate the consequences of their choices. Make sure your child knows that you love them. Keep that connection strong. Love them, no matter what!
7. Maintain Good Health
The foods your child used to get away with might start to catch up to them at this time. Teach them about being healthy. Go on bike rides together or play at the park. Have lots of healthy food options at home. Teach them that being healthy is a way of life and never let them feel like they are fat or need to lose weight. Stay positive about it and do it with them by living healthy yourself.
8. Just Be There
Most importantly, always be there for your tween! This is a hard and confusing time for them. Help them understand the changes and make sure they know that they can always count on you. Talk about anything and everything and let them know that they are loved, important, and that they can do anything they sets their heart on!
These years may not be easy but just remember to offer lots of love and lots of support to your tween. Make sure there are regular chances for your tween to be with you and to talk with you.